It is one of the few strange things about Hong Kong that I can never understand. And it is one of those that pissed me off a lot!

There are many shopping malls and office blocks (be it small or big) in Hong Kong that are in this "sick and stupid" trend of locking up toilets. It is not because their bowls and taps are made of gold..but most of the mall toilets are "meant for tenant only" (and not for its shoppers!).  If that is the case, why bother to open a mall? If you need to use the toilet, you need to get a key from the tenants.

Last weekend, one of my favourite mall "Winsor House" joined this sick trend and started locking up its toilets. I have to walk around the entire mall looking for the one and only toilet or the shoppers - which was located at the basement. And when I reached there, I saw a long queue of women. Trust me, it was long - about 30 ladies! Lucky for me, the queue for the Gent was so much shorter - only about 5 people in the row.

Outside the toilet, I saw pregnant women and old ladies and children in the queue. The management who made this decision to lock the toilet probably didn't understand the needs of a pregnant lady or the elderly! The cleaner was there and she unlocked the door for the ladies. Instead of being praised for her acts, the security manager in suit reprimanded the cleaner. "Do not let the shoppers use the toilet lah" he said to her in that typical snobbish tone! Man, for that spilt second, I felt like slapping his dick-face!

That was it! It pissed me off so much that I went straight to their customer service counter and yelled at the poor receptionist.  I cannot see the logic at all! The mall rather let their shoppers spend quality time queuing for the loos than shopping and spending money? That was just so fu**king STUPID! In fact, Winsor House was undergoing "upgrading works" now - an it says "let your shopping desire flow" on one of their hoardings. Yes, let my shopping desire flow elsewhere! The whole shopping experience was so lousy!

To my bigger horror, I later found out that the toilets were only locked on weekends (when it was also the busiest period!) ! This is certainly ridiculous! And after some observation, I suspect the ill-intention of the management. There were a lot of foreign workers gathering around the mall - my guess is they may not want these people to use the toilets. And if my assumption is true, then it will be a bigger sin - the management is simply racist!

Last Tuesday, the operation manager called me to "smoke" me with their standard "customer-service script". I interrupted her speech and gave her a hostile lecture about shopper marketing. Seriously, if they can't afford to keep the toilet opens, why bother to run a mall? And if they are worried about the non-shoppers who just come and use their toilets - they can simply put a cashier outside each toilet. Better still, shut down your mall entirely!

And I thought Hong Kong is a modern city... Bring your own bags the next time you are here.

Straight from Tokyo, Kenneth (our 74th-75th Hong Kong Visitor) hopped in yesterday with his wife, Karen! What a perfect timing for a Friday gathering - King Bug meeting Flu Bug. (I was down with fever and was on MC yesterday - not H1N1.) His Grass-Shopper Wife was somehwere out there at Mong Kok. It was indeed a very short meeting... and they flew back today. Gotta miss them throughout winter. Sigh... I have to wait till summer before I meet this bug again.

We have a long weekend this week (Monday is a public holiday in Hong Kong). Since Felicia and Elkan haven't been to Shenzhen, I decided to bring them cross the border and visit their most famous theme-park - Window of the World "世界之窗".

Built in 1994, "Window of the World 世界之窗" was one of the 3 famous little world theme-parks in greater China. The other two are located in Taiwan (Click Link: 小人国) and Beijing (Click Link: 北京世界公园). 

 

Our last meeting with Alicia was more than 15 months ago. We came to Hong Kong last June working on an event at Lan Kwai Fong. Since then, Alicia left the company and I moved to Hong Kong. It has been a long while since we last met. And on Saturday, Alicia was in town for just 1 day. We decided to gather at Shenzhen for our long weekend vacation.

This is the weekend party that I can't afford to miss - 2 birthday parties in fact! One for Elkan (17th Oct) and the other for my dear friend Hong Fei (18th Oct)! Since their birthdays are only 1 day apart, we decided to start celebrating from 10pm 17th Oct to next morning 18th Oct 6am!  Now, that is indeed challenging! (Originally, I wanted to bring the whole gang to Shenzhen for a hot, sleazy karaoke bash for the 2 birthday boys! But I guess their mothers won't be too please about my cool concept). Anyway, we certainly had a superb 8-hour of fun! I couldn't last out as long as them - I knocked myself at 4-5am into my own symphony (of course, that turned off the gang and they decided to call off the party at about 6am).

 

This must be the best time to be in Shanghai. Cool cozy Autumn weather with warm loving friends. It may be a short 24-hour stay but I have everything covered - right from the 1st minute I stepped out of Pudong Airport. A very well accomplished trip for both my business and personal agenda. Really, life can't be any better for me! I had a great gathering with Cousin Yei & Summer, Echo, Johnny and Ming, Calvin and a couple more familiar faces at my old Shanghai office. It is just so wonderful to be able to do so much things within 24 hours.

(Photo Taken: Big Lighters - For really kiasu smokers and your 60th Birthday Candles!)

Buddy Meijie landed 20 minutes late on the famous A380 Flight. And we sure packed his 1st 60 hours with back-to-back activities. (Evil laugh "Hee x 4" - I am going to expose him to all the dangerous substance in polluted south China cities). Of course, he is our lovely brother - and I am sure Harshad will be taking GOOD CARE of him. (since he played such a good host to Harshad the last time in Singapore!)

This is Meijie's 2nd trip with us in Hong Kong. He came around this time last Autumn. (That was quite a dramatic trip for him!) This time, he will stay with us for 10 good days (including his 3-day Taipei tour next weeked - shit, he will miss Elkan's birthday!). Today, we brought him to MEGABOX (via the ferry downstairs) and he watched his first B-Grade movie with us! Kinda a boring movie but it is certainly better than seeing my guest lazing around on my sofa. (Trust me, that buddy of mine just like to sleep/nap around - it has been 4 years - and he is still doing that!)

I bet you he can't sleep tomorrow night! Again..Hee x 4. (See Updated Photo Below)

This is the time of the year when I miss my family and friends a lot. It was like that last year... and I felt the same "loneliness" today. Please don't get me wrong - Felicia, Elkan and me are perfectly happy... it is just that I miss the crowd back home. 

 

This year, we decided to avoid the crowd and to do our solo "lantern walk" at the 47th storey Sky Garden. The view was beautiful and the wind was so cooling. Felicia and Elkan were playing "Motion Light Arts". For the 2nd year, Elkan got his home-made WALL-E Lantern (made by Mummy!). For him, it is just pure fun exploring the darkness with those beautiful light sticks (no batteries needed!).  

We are very lucky. The moon is very big and bright tonight. Elkan isn't a big fan of the big round moon. Yesterday on the bus, he made a discovery and freaked himself out! "Mum, I think the moon is following us... When we move, the moon moves. When we stop, the moon stop! Can I not sleep alone tonight?"  (Yeah right, wait till I tell you about the werewolves!)

A couple of weeks ago, Harshad candidly asked me what is the origin of the Chinese Mid Autumn Festival. I told him 3 stories about the origin of this highly-celebrated festival. Of course, I googled on my iPhone to make sure I got my base right. Here are my versions to him (and those who forgot about our origins).

The Heavenly Archer "Houyi" (后羿) 

He may be China's only hope to win Olympic Archery Gold. Back to the time before all time, Earth was certainly in deeper shit than our current Global Warming. Mr Heavenly Jade Master had 10 sons (suns) and Earth was as hot as Hell! So, Mr Jade summoned his best shooter, Houyi (who was immortal) to take down his own flesh and blood suns (aka sons). How successful Houyi was, he took down all 9 suns. Instead of rewarding Houyi for his accomplishment, Jade regretted the death of his 9 sons. He banished Houyi and his beautiful wife, Chang-er to Earth.

The Curious Wife "Chang-er"

Back on Earth, both ex-ImMortals wanted to go back to their Heavenly Life. One day, a Fairy gave Houyi an ImMortal Pill and instructed him to share 50-50% with his wife. Houyi put the pill in a box. One day, his curious wife saw the box and opened it. She saw a pill inside. (Man, what was she thinking?) Without knowing the effect of this pill, she swallowed the entire pill! More powerful than Ectasy, the pill gave her a super high feeling. Literally, she was floating high into the air...higher and higher into the clouds and out of space!

Houyi saw his flyaway wife. He had 2 options - Shoot her down or let her moonwalk on the moon. Guess he had no choice but to let Chang-er go. There was no return for this immortal wife. (There wasn't any Apollo Flight to the Moon yet). Legend says they only get to meet each other every year on the 15th of the Eighth Month - when the moon is closest to Earth and brightest of all time. What about the bunnie? It was there on the moon even before Chang-er arrived. The Bunnie has nothing to do with this festival. It may be a retailer's decision. Imagine eating Chang-er's FaceCake or BodyCake. IT is cuter having a Bunnie Cake instead.

The Encoded Cake

The people wanted to rebel against the Mongolian kingdom. And back in those days, there is no handphone or internet. The Chinese Rebels invented a clever way of communication. Since the Mongolians don't eat mooncake, the Chinese put secret code messages inside Mooncakes and circulated around the masses. The message was simply "Kill All the Bloody Mongols on the 15th of the Eighth Month!" The movement was successful - the Rebels threw out the Mongols. What a clever move!!! Beating the horny Mongols when they were having their kinky full-moon night! (Maybe that is how Osama is able to escape the US Army everytime! Maybe he operates out of Roti-Prata!)

 

The Chinese isn't the only nationality celebrating this day. The Korean also celebrate the 15th of the Eighth Month - as it is their Autumn Harvest Festival Day (Hangawee (한가위). The Vietnamese celebrate this day, lighting up lanterns to guide another lost ImMortal "Cuội" (Man on the Moon) back to Earth. (That must be a very very big lantern for Cuội to see from the moon!)

 

For me, it is just another great holiday for us to reunite with our family and friends. And this must be a great month for the retailers! Imagine the profit margins of a mooncake and plastic lantern! Out of convenience, the world may want to coincide Earth Hour on this very day. Everyone can now carry lanterns! And Houyi can be the mascot for Green Earth. (He gave up his immortality and his curious wife to save Earth, didn't he?)

It is a loop that one father can never complete. I was there the 1st second of Elkan's life. It has always been my wish to see Elkan grow up and accompany him throughout his life to my very last breath. And at times, I can't help but wonder who will be Elkan's companion at his final days. Will my Elkan be happy always...and has a doting family and loved ones who will be by his side when his time is up?

I had this strange dream before. I dreamt of knowing an old man who came to visit me during my final days. My parents and friends have long gone. Even Felicia is gone too. This old man became my best friend quickly. For some strange reasons, it was more than such the companionship that this old man gave me. It was his assurance about my family future that he painted so confidently. I trusted him and confided in him a lot.

 

In this future of mine, I was a lonely old man like my granny. Staying alone, every day, I longed for my son's visit. Every day, I browse thousands and thousands of digital photographs of my past. Without fail, this old man visited me every night for dinner. And he was very keen and all ears about my tales about my youth. I wish it was Elkan or Felicia - for there are so much tales in me for them. I wish I could record down for them somehow.

On the last day of my life, I have Elkan by my side. Time was slipping and I can only say so much. Braving my last breath, I told Elkan that I have so much to tell him but never had the chance. I assured Elkan that I have lived a fruitful life. He was in his mid-40s. I can't felt Elkan's presence like when he was just a kid. It was just so adult. So different. So distant.

 

The old man was there too in my dream. He arrived with a gift and a cake. My deathday cake and gift? I open the gift and saw a very very old toy. A familiar one indeed. It was the first toy that I have given Elkan on his 1st birthday. Those long forgotten memories came back in flashes. Sitting beside me, the old man held my hands. At my last breath, the old man held me close and whispered these touching words in my ears "Dad, I travel back in time for you. And I want to tell you I will remember every tale and every word you said to me. I did miss you." It was Elkan - in his 80s - traveling back in time for me.

This is indeed a dream I will never forget. I woke up with a very very heavy heart. I went to my son's bedroom and kissed him before I left for work.